so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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