we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
