just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
