Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize