I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
