Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
