he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
