i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
