He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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