Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
