i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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