There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
