I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
