Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
