well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
