Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
