normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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