hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
