Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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