hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
