I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
