Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize