My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
