im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
