btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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