he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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