yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
