he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
