They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
