Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
