Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
