her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize