If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
