I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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