Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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