THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
