did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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