at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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