tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
