we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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