that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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