I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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