We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
