I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's shark week go big or go home
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
