Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
