Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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