Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
