That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize