grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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