see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
