I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
