I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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