she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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