You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
