the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is Oprah even human
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
