I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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