So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Text me some of your sweat
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
