hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
