I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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