Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
